Dealing with stress, disappointment and failure among Senior Executives
The mind and behavior of senior executives is an instrument that guides your company – a very expensive item. When in difficulty senior executives need attention as do expensive pieces of equipment. The situation I’m about to describe is prevalent and preventative. If, as a leader, you have no time to deal with this then by default you allow for failure. This is probably not intentional.
In April 2004 I interviewed Steve, a VP in an international telecommunications firm. We spoke about the discouragement experienced by one of his senior executives whose self esteem and confidence had been slowly eroded by leadership practices in the company. Steve was sad to admit that by the time he discovered the situation, the executive was already on a short list for a position in another organization. Steve suspected inner discontent among other executives and was courageous enough to do something about it. Here is what we looked at:
A FEW SERIOUS QUESTIONS – As a VP ask yourself these questions about your peers, senior executives, senior managers and others in your organization!
1. Are our senior executives sufficiently stressed by business practices that they take results personally? If yes then self esteem and confidence start to erode. On the surface senior executives believe they are above ‘confidence and self-esteem issues’ and therefore don’t recognize early symptoms in themselves. The situation escalates.
2. If an executive is dealing with self-esteem and confidence issues, who would he talk with? He believes that talking about his situation leaves him vulnerable to being seen as ‘not being able to do his job’. While this may not be true, he acts as if it is true and tries to hide his feelings from those at work. They see him anyway.
3. What’s the impact on the profit of our organization when a senior executive feels vulnerable and we don’t know about it? All senior decisions cascade throughout the organization and are acted on according to ‘how the executive is perceived’. When employees are concerned about their executive they become preoccupied about their own jobs. Quality and productivity take second place
4. Is our company on a fast track to the point that we don’t recognize early signs of discontent? Driven by the need to satisfy shareholders and at times to stay afloat, executives push harder, work longer hours and ignore human capital with the risk losing expensive senior executives - a very costly matter.
CONTRIBUTING FACTORS TO STRESS - There are many factors that contribute to discontent, discouragement, irritation and anger, all adding to stress. If ignored, executives leave an organization. At lower levels in that company violence may erupt. The company looses people, productivity, quality and image, all of which cost money. Some factors that increase stress are:
1. The person with the most experience in a project is ignored. Politics takes over and the person who ‘should’ have stepped in to take the lead begins to feel shame. A variation of this is when a major decision is made by VP’s in the absence of all members of the senior team.
2. Rumors start, are known about and assumptions are made that rumors will die down. The person deemed to be ‘at fault’ begins to be shut out of meetings. Assumptions are made about the validity of the rumor and the ‘fault’ of the individual. There is no attempt to stop the assumptions.
3. Leaders don’t know how to stop rumors or stress AND they may also assume that both rumors and stress eventually fall away. In fact they do fall away and sometimes it’s too late to make a difference.
4. For some reason men are more prone to tease others than women are. Teasing often involves another person’s vulnerabilities. This happens at every level of an organization.
IDENTIFYING DISCOURAGEMENT* - With each source for discouragement listed above, the risk is that executives (manager or other employees) experience a sense of ‘shame’, a natural feeling accompanying discouragement. This knowledge helps a VP recognize the following behaviors among his executive team members. For example, the executive in question:
1. stops adding comments about a number of things during team meetings and in fact is withdrawing.
2. focuses more on negatives such as “That won’t work because…” or “We tried that last year and it failed,” forgetting that different people and a different focus today result in different opportunities and outcomes.
3. begins to arrive late for team meetings and leave early. He or she is less likely to support a company wide fun event such as an Employee Awards Evening.
4. shows signs of physical illness and may in fact be taking time off.
5. talks more about ‘following the party line’ rather than taking a creative approach to growth.
*All of these indicators are in themselves everyday events. They become problematic when they start to show up as new and consistent behaviors or attitudes.
COMPLICATING THE SITUATION - If the senior leader is an engineer or has an MBA he is ill prepared to deal with the subtle clues of discontentment. Even if trained in these areas there are constant pressures at senior levels that grab his attention. Managing the ‘feeling’ component of executives is neither his greatest strength nor is it high on his list of things to deal with. In our conflict avoidant culture, no one wants to talk about problems - better to avoid them. It’s difficult to speak about shame and fear when doing is considered ‘a weakness’. And who wants to tell the boss that he is seen to be part of the problem? There is a lot to deal with here. By not addressing the team member’s ‘mood’ the VP may lose a valuable senior person.
HERE IS WHAT’S REQUIRED OF THE VP (OR THE BOSS) IN THIS KIND OF SITUATION
1. Notice the changes in behavior listed above. Invite your senior executive to lunch outside your organization. Let him set the time and plan to take at least two hours. You may both decide not to return to the office.
2. Be prepared to ask ‘very specific’ questions in the following way! “You have always been so enthusiastic about your job and I’ve admired this in you. Something is different now and I can’t quite put my finger on it. What’s happening?” You are his boss and you have asked him a question. He wants to and needs to respond - he will search for a place to begin.
3. Be still! Say nothing more! Be prepared to live with extended silence! Chances are high that he is thinking, sorting out what he wants to say and it finding it difficult to get started. If you jump is with your ideas he won’t have to address his own thoughts. You may be sabotaging the very things you need to know i.e. where he is at.
4. When he begins to talk you have one primary job and that’s to listen. You also have a secondary job and that’s to clarify what he means. So from time to time ask him to clarify what he is telling you. Say, “What’s that like?” or “How did that happen?” or “Tell me more!” You will get a more complete story this way.
5. Finally, when you have listened and he has talked about his situation and his feelings, ask him, “Is there anything else you want me to know or that I would need to know?” Keep more silence! When he tells you then ask, “How would you like to proceed to make this better?” You guessed it…listen again and together agree on a first step.
A FINAL STEP – Steve had neither time nor interest in contributing to failure. He chose a coach with who understood how people think, how they learn and how human systems work. Tapping into the mindset of his team was only part of his plan. He chose to be involved early on and regularly in the senior executive’s coaching sessions to learn how he contributed to the situation in the first place. He has learned to make corrections where needed and to avoid repeating patterns with other members of his team. What he was not able to provide was a safe personal environment for his executive to experience his own vulnerability where his growth would happen. Several months have passed. Everybody won.
Negative impacts on profit are palpable – have you measured them? Let’s talk about your executives in crisis. Your future depends on it.
Janice Calnan of CALNAN GROUP, Ottawa Ontario, Canada, executive coach, author, specialist in organizational change. Her book SHIFT: Secrets of Positive Change for Organizations and Their Leaders can be obtained through www.janicecalnan.com . Reach Janice at (613) 721-5900 or info@janicecalnan.com .« Janice’s book is published in Russia | Home | The job of a leader is to connect her voice with her touch »
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