Inner Dialogue of Senior Executive
What I am about to describe happens far more often than is known.
I have been hearing variations of this inner dialogue for 20 years and more.
When we met a month ago we spoke about the need to identify discouragement
that affects the self-esteem of senior executives. You recognized this process in
your own organization. I believe the risk of not catching this before they begin to
search for a different position is great. Let me point out how I have seen companies
allowing for the anatomy of failure among their rising stars shows up. As a senior
executive you may recognize this pattern.
Senior managers are real human beings. They get discouraged about decisions that
are made, the behavior of peers and their boss and a number of other corporate ‘things’.
They know the unwritten cultural norms that say, “follow the party line or else or else…
(fill in the blank)” i.e. “if something isn’t working, I had better be careful about I deal with it.
What I say may have repercussions.” Regardless of how great the company, executives have
this inner dialogue.
Here is what happens when a VP, CEO, President, Director or any human being does not
address adequately, or at all, the inner dialogue and concerns of their highly talented and
highly prized senior executives:
- A decision is made at the top. If the executive doesn’t know ‘who’ make that
decisions i.e. CEO, VP’s, etc, and who supported it an inner dialogue starts.
“Who was involved here? and how this come about.” If they agree with the decision
they give little further thought to this. (note: decisions made at the top impacts
everyone in the company including the senior people who were involved or not
involved in making the decision in the first place.) If they don’t agree with the
decision or if something goes awry, a different scenario follows. - For example, the executive later discovers that this decision doesn’t work as
well as he thought or hoped it would. His internal dialogue becomes something
like this: “Hmmm. This isn’t working well. What am I going to do about it?
I was part (or not part) of making this decision. Now what should I do?”
Unlike discernment, judgment sets in. - Whether he supported it or not the internal dialogue deepens with an
assumption, “This isn’t working but the president wants it.” True or not it’s often
difficult to confront the president directly. Another assumption may be,
“My colleagues all voted for it so they must want it too.” Then this executive
makes a decision, “I had best be quiet and see how things go. If I say something,
I may end up being the outsider, even worse, I may be the next go go.” I (Janice)
have been told repeatedly in coaching sessions that confronting what seems at
the time to be a personal concern may be a career limiting conversation. - The executive waits. Waiting does not bring the desired result that the situation
resolves itself. The executive doesn’t find a way to surface his feelings, concerns
and perhaps his growing irritation with the very people who made the decision in
the first place (his boss and peers & maybe even himself). This inner dialogue
gets worse and he now focuses on what he calls “a problem”. - Time passes. Risks of losing him increase not to say the risks of cost lost as a
result of the impact on his team and the company. He is stressed about the situation.
His inner dialogue gets louder about “This isn’t working. It’s a problem. It’s
affecting my ability to do my job. My team wonders why I’m short tempered. I am not
concentrating on things that are important the way I am accustomed to do.” This
dialogue is unknown to his colleagues and his boss. He is now becoming quite
discouraged. - Time goes by. Unable to find a way on his own, he decides, “My job is suffering.
My colleagues seem to be doing fine with the decision.” He begins to berate himself.
“I am not a very successful leader.” No one knows about this inner dialogue but him
although his colleagues might have noticed a slight change in his sense of humor or
that he has short responses or his general demeanor at executive meetings is somewhat
different. They are preoccupied with their own business concerns. You name it. There
are many symptoms. We are moving so fast that leaders fail to pay attention to
the people around them, let alone those at lower levels. Even when senior colleagues
know there is a problem, they aren’t sure how to deal with their colleague…or
their own inner dialogue about their own concerns. I have been told repeatedly
by clients who are senior executives that “Asking for help is a sign of . . . .” You guessed
it. Weakness. - This executive is now thinking about leaving the company. He may in fact be looking and
by the time his own boss finds out he has found another position.
This is a serious matter in terms of human capital, productivity and profit. What happens at the
top filters through the organization. The financial impact in terms of innovation, productivity, quality and safety is significant and difficult to measure. When a senior executive is not dealing with his own concerns, he is inadvertently giving a negative message to his direct reports. That unspoken yet perceived inner dialogue spreads throughout the company. In the extreme, the public and then the media hear the same message. Consider some of the recent corporate scandals!
The solution: Help is needed to make known the ‘underlying concerns’ that are not only in this executive’s mind but have travelled to other people without really knowing why. This executive needs to let the fire in his soul shine through and to let go of fear. When he is worried and preoccupied, his passion is dull as is he.
He may cover up his inner dialogue with anger, silence, irritation, overwork and in the extreme,
even alcohol. There is a need for him to shift to a confident inner dialogue that results in:
- Courage to feel the fear and act appropriately
- Good humor
- Kindness
- Greater attention to his responsibilities and his team
- Better quality of leadership
- Thoughtfulness
When he has a confident inner dialogue everything he does, thinks, feels and says reflects
this. You amd I talked about the fact that we live in a conflict avoidant culture. I also heard that you
would like to intercept difficulties before an executive runs into trouble with this inner dialogue and
begins to think of leaving CISCO
Getting at that personal/professional inner dialogue takes a great deal of skill on the part of an executive coach. Understanding how people think and how they contribute to their own situation is essential. Creating a safe environment for this executive to let himself be
vulnerable and talk about his own inner dialogue, concerns and fears is also important.
No corporation can do this because the corporate unwritten norms and the way things happen
have left this executive with assumptions where he believes he can not ‘yet’ speak his truth.
He believes the risk is too great and indeed it is…to both him and his organization.
If you have no time as a leader to deal with this then by default you have time to allow for
failure and the subsequent cost lost in the organization. Can you afford this?
——-
Janice Calnan of CALNAN GROUP, Ottawa Ontario, Canada, executive coach, author, specialist in organizational change. Her book SHIFT: Secrets of Positive Change for Organizations and Their Leaders obtained through www.janicecalnan.com . Reach Janice at (613) 721-5900 or info@janicecalnan.com .
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